


The Things We Did and Didn't Do

by Sheena_Is_A_Punk_Rocker



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: ALL THE FLUFF, AtomicSmoak, Comic book elements used, Established Relationship, F/M, Felicity Smoak Needs a Hug, Ray Palmer Needs a Hug, Still hoping that name catches on, cavity inducing fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:00:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 6,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22263745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sheena_Is_A_Punk_Rocker/pseuds/Sheena_Is_A_Punk_Rocker
Summary: Just a bunch of unrelated drabbles of Ray Palmer and Felicity Smoak being adorable and nerdy together. Established relationship, not sure if there will ever be an end in sight for this one and I'm okay with that.
Relationships: Ray Palmer/Felicity Smoak
Comments: 21
Kudos: 18





	1. Momma Smoak

**Author's Note:**

> Things to note here:
> 
> 1) Ray and Felicity are in an established relationship
> 
> 2) I use elements from the comic books for Ray's background, primarily concerning his relationship with his father and brother, which you will see in one of the later drabbles. It was also the canon I used in Another State of Mind.

Someone decides to start pounding on Felicity's front door at an ungodly hour (9 AM, okay so not _that_ ungodly) and she really considers just ignoring it at first. She snuggles closer to the warmth next to her and waits for the knocking to stop. It doesn't.

Felicity sighs dramatically and goes to open the door, saying “Mrs. Fernans, we _still_ haven't seen your ca—!”

Once again, she is surprised to find that her visitor is not her crazy neighbor. “Mom,” she chokes out. At least she doesn't have toothpaste in her mouth this time.

Her mother lets out a shriek of joy and envelops her daughter in a bone-crushing hug. “I missed you!” she says loudly.

When she pulls back to look at her mom's face, Felicity says, “I... thought you weren't scheduled to fly in until next week.”

Her mother sighs. “Yeah, I know. But I was so excited to see you that I decided to come early!” She shrieks (again) and hugs Felicity (again).

When Donna Smoak pulls back this time, she finally takes note of what her daughter is wearing—an oversized white t-shirt. She connects the dots.

“Oh, I didn't know you had someone staying over!” And she's _sure_ she's right this time.

The other person in the apartment decides that that's the best time to make an appearance. “Felicity, who was at the—” a shirtless Ray Palmer freezes in the doorway of the bedroom. He quickly regains composure. “Donna. Hi!”

She says hello and then tells the two, “I'll be back in a few hours. I can get some shopping done.”

Felicity walks her mother to the front door, Donna whispering (loudly) to her, “Isn't that your boss?”

Felicity shoves her out the door and mumbles, “Yeah well he's my boyfriend now.” She can feel herself blushing.

Donna gives her a knowing smile before heading back the way she'd come. Felicity slams the door shut and sinks down to the floor—covering her face with her hands.

Ray laughs and pulls her to her feet. He wraps his arms around her and she hides her face in his chest. “Why does this keep happening to me?” She asks.


	2. Asleep and Dreaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I commissioned my friend for some really really cute fanart based on this drabble! It's pure fluff and I absolutely love it.

She wakes up with a start and has no idea why. Felicity glances at the clock—four in the morning. Still sleep-addled, she reaches across to the other side of the bed and only feels warm sheets.

  
  


She sighs and rolls her eyes. She knows exactly where he is.

  
  


Felicity gets up and shuffles out to the living room. There's her boyfriend—Ray Palmer—lying on the couch with his laptop. He would get ideas at the most ungodly hours but Felicity is very much used to this by now.

  
  


She walks around to the front of the couch and Ray notices her standing there. She's still half-asleep and wordlessly, she moves his laptop out of the way and crawls on top of him. Her couch is very tiny so they had to snuggle this way.

  
  


She takes a few seconds to get adjusted, buries her face in his shoulder, and falls right back to sleep.

  
  


She misses the confused look on Ray's face as he holds his laptop over her sleeping form and wonders where to put it.


	3. Two Kinds of People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity has to go Jewish Mom on Ray's ass

Ray's concentration is broken when he hears something being slammed on his desk. He looks up to see who has interrupted him.

  
  


It's his girlfriend—Felicity Smoak. And she does not look happy. Ray looks down at his desk and sees that Felicity has plopped a bag of fast food there. He looks back at her and tries to figure out what the best thing to say is.

  
  


“Eat!” She orders. She still doesn't look happy.

  
  


“Why...?” Ray is very confused right now. He's not even hungry.

  
  


She sighs and rolls her eyes. “We got here at 7 this morning. It is now almost 3 in the afternoon. You haven't eaten anything in that time frame! I've been waiting to see if you'd even come out of your office at all today.”

  
  


As he looks back on his day, he realizes that she's right. He's been sitting working on his computer since they got to work. “I, uh, guess I didn't realize what time it was,” he says awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Felicity's expression softens and she walks around his desk to stand next to him. “I know how into your work you get once you have a breakthrough.”

  
  


It's true and he knows it. He's worked all night on one project and he hadn't even realized it. He sighs, knowing he won't be getting any more work done until he eats something. Felicity smiles—knowing she's won. She leans down to kiss him quickly before walking out the way she'd come.

  
  


Ray smiles as his girlfriend walks out of his office. He pulls the bag of food closer to him and pops a fry in his mouth as he turns back to his computer screen.


	4. Two Kinds of People Pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loosely connected to the previous drabble. I picture them happening on the same day but that's up to you. 
> 
> Ray is once again an oblivious adorable genius.

Felicity glances down at her cell phone—it's 10 PM and she still hasn't gotten a text back. It's been two hours and five texts so she finally decides to take matters into her own hands.

  
  


She sighs dramatically and makes the trip from her office to Ray's. As much as she loves him, he can be really infuriating.

  
  


He doesn't even notice her come in and has his back turned to her. She can see that he's doing something with that ATOM suit of his since she can see the hologram he's projected in the middle of the room.

  
  


She smiles. As infuriating as he is, she likes seeing him in his element—but right now she wants to go home and sleep.

  
  


Felicity sneaks up behind him and wraps her arms around his waist in a tight hug. He jumps a little at the sudden distraction. She giggles and moves to face him. “I have been texting you for the last two hours. Did you not hear your phone?”

  
  


He looks confused for a second before digging his phone out of his pocket. He does indeed have five unread texts from Felicity—all of them asking where he is and when can they leave.

  
  


He clears his throat and says sheepishly, “I uh... guess I lost track of time. Again.” He hopes she's not mad at him about it.

  
  


She rolls her eyes and laughs again. “Yeah, kinda figured that. But—now that you know that, don't you think we should call it a night?”

  
  


He sighs. “Yeah I guess so but—”

  
  


She cuts him off with a kiss before he can finish that sentence. “If I let you keep working, we'll be here all night. I know _you_ can stay up all night but I can't and I am _not_ letting you have three espressos again!”

  
  


He gives her a small smile and wraps his arms around her to pull her closer to him. She snakes her arms around his neck to pull him towards her for another kiss. “We're leaving now, right?” It's almost sad that she has to ask.

  
  


Ray laughs and answers, “Yes. We are going home. I can finish this tomorrow.”

  
  


“Good. I'll meet you by the elevator.” She presses a kiss to his neck before dashing out the door to get her things.


	5. The Way You Say Goodnight

It's one in the morning and she can't sleep. She knows she _should_ be asleep—she has to wake up early tomorrow.

  
  


But she can't stop _worrying_. He's not home yet and experience should have taught her by now that this is perfectly normal. But she still can't stop worrying. Felicity has seen the worst of Starling City and it scares her that Ray is willingly going out and facing that.

  
  


She will never ask him to give it up though. All Ray has ever wanted to do is help people and Felicity knows that he's helping a lot of people as The Atom. She's proud of him—despite her fears.

  
  


She sighs and rolls over to look at the clock—two in the morning. She can't even remember ever being this worried about Oliver's safety. Or Roy's. Or John's. Actually that's a lie—but the fretting and waiting around without hearing a word from anybody never gets any easier.

  
  


Felicity suddenly hears the front door open and close—not at all as quietly as the person entering the apartment thinks. She breathes a sigh of relief and then waits. A few minutes later, she hears him creep into the bedroom and then he's cuddled up next to her under the blankets. He wraps his arm around her waist—pulling her back to his chest.

  
  


Ray presses a gentle kiss to her temple and whispers, “Go to sleep, Felicity.”

  
  


Felicity smiles and closes her eyes—her superhero is home.


	6. Sweater Weather

Felicity wanders into the Foundry around six in the morning—bleary-eyed but with a fresh cup of coffee in her hand. She's been called in for some sort of emergency.

  
  


She takes a seat at her computer station. “Okay, what's going on?” She expects a rapid-fire update from Oliver or John (maybe even Roy). Instead, she's greeted with silence.

  
  


She looks up to find all three men staring at her. “Uh.... is there something on my face?” she tries to joke.

  
  


Oliver's the one to break the silence. He clears his throat. “That's uh... new.” He awkwardly gestures to her and she looks down. With cheeks turning flaming red, she realizes what Oliver's talking about.

  
  


Felicity is wearing a dress—as usual—and flats rather than heels. But draped over her dress is a male's gray hoodie—unzipped—that practically goes down to her knees.

  
  


She vaguely remembers picking it up off the floor and throwing it on before she left the apartment. Ray, though usually an early riser, had still been asleep when she stole the jacket. He'd been up at three in the morning—again—working on some new brilliant idea he dreamed up.

  
  


Felicity hadn't even given the hoodie a second thought. Now, she's regretting that.

  
  


“Oh this old thing? Yeah, I just... found it. In my closet,” she says awkwardly. She can feel herself blushing even more.

  
  


Everyone in the room knows she's lying and she can see both John and Roy trying to suppress their laughter behind Oliver's back.

  
  


She sighs and rolls her eyes. “Fine! It's my boyfriend's. Happy?” She's still not quite ready to reveal exactly _who_ her boyfriend is so she leaves it at that.

  
  


Luckily, everyone else does too (though Roy and John are _not_ hiding their amusement at this point). Before she knows it, Oliver is filling her in on the situation and life goes on as usual. As she rolls the sleeves of the jacket up to free her hands to type, she can't help but smile despite her embarrassment. Ray's hoodies are comfortable. And smell amazing (she hopes to God that she didn't just say that out loud).


	7. The Day of the Doctor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This totally would have happened in canon and no one can tell me otherwise.

Felicity always manages to forget when it's Christmas—being Jewish does that to a person. She never really _got_ the holiday, but luckily Ray, being Jewish himself, doesn't either.

  
  


Subsequently, they don't have a Christmas tree or any decorations. Her cheap menorah from the drugstore is sitting on her coffee table. It's covered in wax and she's definitely not looking forward to cleaning it up.

  
  


Their day is spent being lazy and enjoying the day off from work. Well, Felicity's enjoying it. She's curled up against Ray's side on the couch as he types away on his laptop one-handed. He had an epiphany that morning at six and had pretty much been working since then.

  
  


It can be a little aggravating when he's in that zone because it's pretty much impossible to get him out of it, but Felicity does like seeing him work. He's not a workaholic by any means. His brain is just always “on” and when he gets a particularly good idea, he gets excited—and she finds it adorable (and would never ever tell him that).

  
  


While he's been working, she's been messing around on her tablet. She's lost count of how many videos she's watched that involve adorable baby animals and how many random Wikipedia articles she's managed to find and read. At this point in time, her brain is pretty much numb.

  
  


As she puts her tablet to sleep and gets up to stretch, she suddenly remembers that it's Christmas—which means one thing. The Doctor Who Christmas special.

  
  


She whispers it to herself and Ray's head immediately snaps up. “That's right!” He had also forgotten the significance of the day.

  
  


They're soon cuddled up on the couch together wrapped up in a blanket and they turn the TV on just in time for the special to start. And from that day forward, a new nerdy tradition is born.


	8. Lipstick Stains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Ray bonding with the rest of Team Arrow

Felicity doesn't give cheek kisses. Or, at least she doesn't give _Ray_ kisses on the cheek. She prefers to give neck kisses. She _says_ it's because he's so tall but sometimes...

  
  


“Hey Palmer, what were you up to last night?” Diggle asks with a laugh.

  
  


Ray doesn't look up from the microscope he's peering through. “Working late. Why?” He doesn't notice the humor in Diggle's voice.

  
  


“Sure you weren't practicing your makeup skills?”

  
  


Ray finally looks up—a confused look on his face. Roy decides to join in on the fun and gestures in Ray's general direction. “Just for future reference, the lipstick goes on your mouth and not your neck.”

  
  


The physicist blushes and touches the side of his neck where he _knows_ Felicity's left a berry-colored lipstick stain. He side-eyes his girlfriend who's at her computers next to him. She's trying desperately to stop herself from laughing uncontrollably—and fails miserably.

  
  


...Sometimes Ray is convinced she just likes to embarrass the hell out of him. But he's not complaining one bit when she gets up and pulls him down for a kiss before placing a gentle kiss right over the lipstick stain she'd left that morning.


	9. Still Alive

Felicity hears the door of the foundry being opened with a bang and she quickly turns towards the source of the noise.

  
She's been pacing back and forth in front of her computers for the last _two_ _hours_. She'd lost contact with the team during a particularly violent fight. Those last two hours have been spent worrying and crying.

  
  


She breathes a sigh of relief when she sees Oliver and Roy—battered up but alive. John follows close behind and she almost has a heart attack when she realizes who's missing.

  
  


She doesn't have to worry for very long though because Ray is making his way down the stairs in his ATOM suit (helmet off)—clutching his arm which had clearly been injured in the fight.

  
  


Ignoring that injury, Felicity runs across the foundry and wraps her arms around his neck tightly. She's sobbing into his shoulder. He groans in pain but wraps his good arm around her and holds her close.

  
  


She's crying and babbling through her tears, “I couldn't hear you! I couldn't hear any of you and I heard a bunch of gunshots and then I remembered that the ATOM suit isn't bulletproof because I insisted that you didn't need to use titanium but you did and—”

  
  


Her rambling is cut short by a kiss from Ray. He pulls back to look her in the eye. “Felicity, I'm fine. None of this is your fault.”

  
  


The tears are still falling. “But—”

  
  


“No buts.” He hugs her tighter and rubs her back soothingly with his good arm. “This wasn't your fault. Now we know what we need to fix.”

  
  


She briefly thinks about smacking him for scaring her so badly but instead she pulls back and stands on tiptoe to give him a desperate kiss. “Don't you _ever_ do this to me again!”

  
  


He smiles. “Wouldn't dream of it.”


	10. Britishguy Sillyname

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Ray and Felicity being cute as they try to come up with increasingly ridiculous variations of Benedict Cumberbatch's name. If they're Whovians, they're most likely also into Sherlock too so.... Yeah, this happened. Oliver is very very confused.

“Boneheaded Cavendish?” Felicity says as she types away at her computer station.

  
  


Oliver pauses as he reaches for his bow. He hears Ray say, “Nah, we've come up with better ones.”

  
  


This had been going on for several weeks now. Ray and Felicity would throw out random combinations of ridiculous sounding words and laugh about it. That is, when Ray isn't out in the field on patrol. On nights when there's no big crime going on, the team patrols the city in shifts. Oliver had been on his way to relieve Laurel when... this happened. So far, he's chalked this behavior up to some weird inside joke the couple has that he just isn't privy to. But his curiosity has gotten the better of him and he stops to listen.

  
  


The things they came up with were amusing. Felicity stops her typing for a second and says, “Oooh! What about Bustledirt Crunchybears?”

  
  


“Or Bensnatcher Cumberfletch?” Ray throws back. Oliver finally turns around to see what's going on. The two aren't even looking at each other. Felicity is keeping an eye on the streets with her computers and Ray is making new trick arrows for Oliver and Roy.

  
  


They don't even realize that he's still there. “Bubblebath Cropcircle?” Ray suggests.

  
  


Both burst out laughing and then Felicity suggests, “Bunnyknuckle Curdlesong?”

  
  


“Whenpicnic Remembersnacks?”

  
  


“Bandicoot Gingersnap?”

  
  


Oliver's curiosity has finally gotten so bad that he _has_ to ask, “Okay, what the _hell_ are you guys talking about?”

  
  


Both of them turn to look at him and without missing a beat, Ray says “Britishguy Sillyname” while Felicity simultaneously says “Bacondick Cannonlatch.”

  
  


With his question not answered at _all_ Oliver just turns to grab his bow and leaves.


	11. Life With You

“Really? Again?” Felicity hears Oliver say.

  
  


She turns to see John carrying baby Sara into the club. Personally, she wouldn't mind if Sara were in the Foundry with them but she remembers that Oliver has other ideas.

  
  


John looks down at his daughter. “Seriously, Oliver? Who's she gonna tell?”

  
  


Oliver sighs. “Can you just... please get someone else to watch her?”

  
  


“And who's that gonna be, huh? Donna's not here this time.”

  
  


Felicity rolls her eyes. “I know someone who can watch her.” She's already pulled out her phone and is shooting off a series of texts.

  
  


“Palmer?” John asks. He knows the two have been dating for quite some time now.

  
  


“Yep,” she says without taking her eyes off her phone. She looks up at John and Oliver. “He's on his way.”

  
  


The physicist shows up to the club just after Roy does. Felicity wishes she had time to properly greet her boyfriend but Oliver's already ushering them down the steps to the Foundry.

  
  


“Hi there!” She hears a high pitched voice say. She stops for a second and turns around. There's Ray, holding Sara close and making funny faces at her. She can see the infant smiling up at him. He's telling her, “We're gonna have a lot of fun today, aren't we?”

  
  


Felicity can't help but smile as she makes her way down to the Foundry. She's never believed she would make a very good mother but she knows Ray would make a great dad. Before she can dwell any further on the subject, Oliver's filling her in on what he needs her to do and she gets to work.

  
  


* * *

  
  


She's exhausted by the time she finally gets to go home. As Felicity opens her front door, she's greeted with the most adorable scene ever.

  
  


Ray's passed out on her tiny couch with his arm dangling off the side—and baby Sara is fast asleep on his chest with a pacifier in her mouth.

  
  


She squeals internally and snaps a quick picture to send to Lyla and John later.

  
  


For the second time that day, she finds herself thinking about children. She pictures a baby girl with blue eyes and dark hair and smiles as she imagines Ray singing the “Elements Song”. In fact, the more she thinks about it, the more natural it all feels. Felicity's surprised but has to admit it to herself—she can see a future with Ray, and she really likes what it looks like.


	12. Hour of Darkness

Ray wakes up with a start when he feels an sharp kick to his leg.

  
  


Felicity's thrashing about on the bed—clearly in the middle of a nightmare. He sits up and shakes her gently. She wakes up and looks around with a panicked look on her face for a few seconds.

  
  


When she sits up, Ray pulls her into his arms and holds her tightly. She buries her face into his chest for a few seconds as she calms down. “You okay?” he asks gently, running his fingers through her hair.

  
  


“Yeah, I'm fine.” He doesn't believe her for a second. She knows this. “Seriously, I'm fine. Go back to sleep.” She throws her legs over the side of the bed and practically runs out of the room.

  
  


He sighs. He knows Felicity doesn't like to—as she says—“burden him with her problems”. He would never ever see it that way but convincing her of that has always been a challenge.

  
  


Ray gives her a few minutes before following her out the bedroom door. He sees her curled up into a ball on the large black leather couch in the living room.

  
  


He curls up behind her and kisses her bare shoulder. She whispers, “You should be sleeping.”

  
  


He _had_ been up for over twenty-four hours but he's not going back to sleep until she does.

  
  


She knows this and doesn't protest further. She rolls over so she's facing him.

  
  


“Wanna talk about it?” He asks quietly.

  
  


Felicity shakes her head vigorously. She's not ready yet. Ray pulls her closer to him and rolls onto his back so she can lay her head on his chest.

  
  


They sit there for several long minutes as Felicity remembers what she had been dreaming about. “Honestly, I can't even remember half of it. I just remember that everyone was dead—Laurel, Roy, John...” She lets out a shaky breath. Ray holds her closer. “You were next. They had a gun pointed at you.”

  
  


Ray's pretty sure he knows where this is going. He presses a kiss to the top of Felicity's head. “It's okay. I'm still here.”

  
  


She shakes her head. “No, you didn't die. Oliver—” she stops suddenly, takes a deep breath and then continues. “Oliver saved you.”

  
  


_Now_ , Ray knows exactly where this is going. “And they killed Oliver instead?”

  
  


She squeezes her eyes shut and nods vigorously, trying to block the nightmare.

  
  


Ray rubs her back soothingly. He's quiet for a minute before asking, “Do you want me to call him?” He knows that hearing Oliver's voice would help put Felicity's mind at ease.

  
She sighs. “No, it's too late.” Pause. “But thank you.”

  
  


“So what can I do to help?”

  
  


That earns him a small, shy smile from Felicity. She scoots closer to him and grabs his other hand and places it on her hip.

  
  


He understands immediately. He reaches over to snag the blanket that's thrown across the back of the couch and wraps it around the both of them.

  
  


Felicity reaches up to kiss his chin. “Thank you. I love you so much, Ray.”

  
  


He leans down to kiss her lips. “I love you too, Felicity. Now go to sleep.”

  
  


Before too long, he notices her breathing even out and then finally shuts his eyes himself.


	13. Reach Out (I'll Be There)

Ray fumbled with the keys as he balanced the boxes of take-out in his arms. Felicity declined his offer to take her out to breakfast that morning so he went and got her blueberry waffles to-go, instead.

  
  


After a bit of maneuvering, he got the door of Felicity's tiny apartment unlocked.

  
  


The living room was empty and so was the kitchen. He thought she must still be asleep. He set the food down on the kitchen table and called her name. “Felicity?”

  
  


He walked towards the bedroom and then he heard it. Muffled crying. “Felicity?” He called out louder.

  
  


She didn't answer, but now that he was listening more carefully, he was able to pinpoint where the sound was coming from—the bathroom.

  
  


He knocked on the door softly. “You okay in there?”

  
  


She didn't say anything. Instead, Ray just heard more crying. He rushed to open the door and found Felicity, sitting on the floor next to the bathtub, sobbing her eyes out.

  
  


He was immediately by her side. “Felicity? What's wrong?”

  
  


She was crying too hard to say anything at the moment so Ray just pulled her into his lap and rubbed her back soothingly while she cried onto his shoulder.

  
  


He's not sure how long either of them sat there on the bathroom floor but he didn't mind one bit. He just let her cry. She would talk when she was ready.

  
  


Eventually, she stopped crying. He handed a few tissues to her and waited for her to speak. Instead of saying anything, however, she just pointed to the counter.

  
  


Ray looked to where she was pointing and noticed what looked like a little white stick sitting on the edge of it. He reached over to pick it up and when he brought it up to his eyes, he realized what he was looking at.

  
  


A pregnancy test.

  
  


And it was positive.

  
  


“You're pregnant?” He asked his girlfriend for confirmation.

  
  


She nodded and swiped at the tears that started falling again. “Are you upset?” She asked quietly.

  
  


He looked down at her incredulously. “Is that why you're crying? Because you think I'd be upset?”

  
  


She shook her head vigorously. “No, of course not! I'm just scared.”

  
  


He rubbed her back soothingly again and kissed the top of her head before hugging her to his chest tightly. “What're you scared about?” He asked gently.

  
  


She took a deep, shaky breath. “What if I'm not a good mother?”

  
  


He opened his mouth to reply but she kept going. “I mean, it's not like I have the best example, you know? I don't want my kid to hate me! And my dad? I mean, my dad abandoned me and that was devastating to me. What if _you_ leave us!? Not that I think that! Do I think that? Is that what I'm thinking?”

  
  


She was getting hysterical. “Shhh, it's okay. It's okay, Felicity. These are perfectly normal things to think.”

  
  


He moved her off his lap and stood up before bending down to pick her up bridal style. She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly as he walked them to the bedroom, where he placed her down on the bed gently.

  
  


He pulled the covers back and let her crawl underneath them before sliding under the blanket himself. He laid on his back and wrapped his arm around her so her head was on his chest. He could tell she was starting to calm down.

  
  


Felicity cuddled closer to him and sighed. “Sorry I'm such a mess.”

  
  


He began to rub her back soothingly. “No need to apologize. Your feelings are perfectly normal.”

  
  


They were silent for several long moments before Felicity started talking again. “You know, I'm sort of relieved now that I know.” She was rubbing her stomach absentmindedly and Ray moved his hand on top of hers.

  
  


“What do you mean?”

  
  


“My period was late this month and I've been freaking out for days coming up with the worst possible scenarios but now? Now I'm... almost happy. Until you came home, I was only thinking about the worst that could happen but I know you would never leave me and would be the best dad ever.”

  
  


Ray smiled. “And I think you'd be a really good mom.”

  
  


She buried her face in his chest in embarrassment. “Really?”

  
  


“Of course.”

  
  


She looked down at their clasped hands on her stomach and then up at Ray. She smiled shyly and stretched to kiss him softly.

  
  


“So we're naming him The Doctor, right?” Ray said jokingly against her lips.

  
  


She laughed before pulling him into another, more intense kiss.

  
  


  
  



	14. If You Don't Cry

Ray and Felicity are both rushing to get ready for this charity function Palmer Tech is hosting when his phone rings. He honestly intends to just ignore it—until he sees the name on the screen.

  
  


“Hello?”

  
  


Felicity stops what she's doing when she sees Ray sit down on the couch as he continues listening to whoever is on the other end of the line. Something's wrong. She can feel it.

  
  


“Is everything okay?” She asks once he hangs up the phone.

  
  


He looks dazed and jumps a little at the sound of her voice—as if he'd forgotten she was there to begin with. “That, uh... that was my brother.”

  
  


Something is definitely wrong. She knows Ray doesn't have a good relationship with his brother. She goes to sit next to him on the couch. He turns to her. “Our dad died. This morning. Massive heart attack.”

  
  


She also knows Ray didn't have a very good relationship with his father but still—she's not sure how he'll handle his death. “Are you okay?”

  
  


He blinks at her, as if he's just noticed that she's even there. “Yeah, I'm okay. Let's go!” He stands up and finishes grabbing his suit jacket and car keys.

  
  


She's confused but goes along with it. He'll talk to her when he's ready.

* * *

They get home late, and Felicity immediately kicks her heels off and runs to the master bedroom to change into something more comfortable. The gala had been fun but all she wants to do is sleep right now.

  
  


She emerges from the bathroom, having successfully taken off her makeup without too much effort, and sees Ray sitting on the bed—staring off into space.

  
  


She sits down next to him and touches his shoulder gently. He jumps and turns his head towards her. Clearly he hadn't even noticed her come into the bedroom.

  
  


“You okay?”

  
  


He blinks at her and doesn't say anything for a while. Finally—quietly—he says, “I... should be crying about this, shouldn't I? Isn't that what people do when their parents die?”

  
  


She rubs his back soothingly. “Everyone processes things differently. There's no right or wrong way to grieve, Ray.”

  
  


Felicity abruptly stands up and moves to pull the covers back. “C'mon, let's get some sleep.” He lets her usher him under the blankets without a fight. She turns off the lights before joining him. She immediately curls into his side and rests her head on his bare chest, where she presses a small kiss.

  
  


“They're burying him on Monday,” Ray says quietly. “I know I should go but... I don't know what I'd even say to anybody. I never had much of a relationship with him.”

  
  


From what Ray has told her, she does know that neither his father or his brother ever accepted him. They could never connect with him and his nerdy interests. His father wasn't _abusive_ but certainly negligent. Ray had been forced to cope alone and it broke her heart. Her own mother doesn't understand _anything_ about what Felicity does for a living but at least she _cares_. She's embarrassing and kind of a ditz but she at least makes an _effort_ to try and understand her daughter.

  
  


She picks her head up off his chest to look at him. “You don't have to say anything, Ray. You don't owe anyone an explanation. You're allowed to feel however you feel—sad, apathetic, whatever. Those are _your_ feelings and there's not a damn thing wrong with them.”

  
  


She hears him sniffle and he swipes at his eyes furiously with the back of his hand. “Thank you,” he says in a shaky voice. His attempts to stop the tears are futile. “Dammit,” he mutters under his breath.

  
  


Felicity rolls over and pulls him with her so he can lay his head on her chest as he cries. She doesn't have to say anything. She just runs her fingers through his hair and rubs his back soothingly as he cries out all his hurt and frustration and guilt.

  
  


She's not sure when the crying stops—it could have been hours for all she knew. Ray sits up and grabs a few tissues from his nightstand. After cleaning himself up a bit, he lays back down and holds his arms open for her to slide into. He presses a kiss to the top of her head. “I love you so much, Felicity.”

  
  


She kisses his chest. “I love you too, Ray.”

  
  


They'll figure out the details in the morning, but for now, it's time for sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a chapter that is near and dear to my heart because like Ray, I had a terrible relationship with my father and he also died. Unlike Ray, my dad died from cancer so it was a long slow death that I knew was coming but I'm not even close to coming to terms with everything and it's partly why I love Ray so much. 
> 
> I used his comic book background for this. I don't even wanna think about what the Arrowverse writers did to him but this aspect of his childhood is actually super super important because it's a cornerstone of who he is as a character. The reason for his compassion is partly because he didn't have that at home. He doesn't ever want anyone else to feel that way. I'm actually really mad that the Arrow writers gave him a dead fiance as a motivation for becoming The Atom because Ray is one of the few superheroes that is 100% truly altruistic and not doing anything to avenge a loved one. He just... wants to help people.
> 
> I could go on for hours and hours about this but anyway, this drabble means a lot to me and was very cathartic to write.


	15. Think Twice

On their very first date, Ray tells Felicity, “Please stop me if I start annoying you.”

  
  


She asks why and he explains to her that he knows he has a tendency to ramble and get caught up in his own interests and go on tangents and that it's the reason his last serious girlfriend cheated on him.

  
  


“Wait, what?” It takes Felicity a few moments to even register Ray's last statement.

  
  


“Well, that's what she said anyway. And I can't really blame her, because it's _true_.” He won't look at her.

  
  


She reaches across the table and grabs his hand. “She cheated because she's a horrible person—not because of anything you did.” She can tell that he doesn't believe her and that breaks her heart.

  
  


She doesn't know who Ray's ex is but she does some digging as soon as he drops her off at home after a sweet good-night kiss.

  
  


The next day at work, Ray comes by her office and says, “So uh, my ex just called me.”

  
  


She keeps typing and doesn't look up so she doesn't give herself away. “Oh, really?” She asks innocently.

  
  


He walks around her desk and leans against it as he looks down at her. “Yeah, apparently someone hacked into her Facebook account and published some very incriminating texts that painted her in a pretty bad light.”

  
  


Felicity smiles faintly. That had been a pretty good move, if you asked her. Ray says, “You wouldn't happen to know anything about this, would you?”

  
  


She doesn't answer him. Instead she stands up and wraps her arms around his neck. He automatically rests his hands on her hips. “You're a good person Ray. She didn't deserve you,” is what Felicity says.

  
  


He's silent for a moment before finally softly saying, “I can't say I approve of whatever you did, but... thanks. I think?”

  
  


She laughs gently and kisses him. She knows Ray doesn't believe her earlier statement but she intends to remind him as much as she has to before he finally does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jean Loring can fuck right off! She's not the ex in question in this particular drabble but said ex was inspired by her because Jean's the one who cheated on him in the comics and made his life a living hell.


	16. She Said Maybe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drabble inspired by the Steam Powered Giraffe song "She Said Maybe"
> 
> I've wanted to write something for AtomicSmoak based around this song for years now so here it is!

The first time Ray asks her out, Felicity doesn't give him a straight answer. She's still not sure how she feels about him and doesn't want to jump into anything while she's still hung up on Oliver.

  
  


What surprises her is that Ray is _okay_ with her non-committal “maybe.” Any other guy she's ever known would take it as outright rejection but Ray just smiles at her and tells her to let him know by Friday and if he doesn't hear anything, no hard feelings.

  
  


She's on the fence about it all the way up until Friday and she finally makes her decision after Oliver pushes her away yet again and makes her feel awful.

  
  


She marches over to Ray's office at 3:30 in the afternoon—an hour and a half before work officially ends—and takes a deep breath before blurting out, “Yes, I would love to go out for dinner with you, Dr. Palmer...?” She internally cringes but she's also not quite sure how to address him. For all intents and purposes, he's her boss, but he doesn't act like it and she's only one position below him in the company.

  
  


Ray's eyes widen slightly as her words sink in and then he clears his throat and says, “Great! I'll, uh, I'll pick you up at eight... Ms. Smoak?”

  
  


She smiles back shyly. “Sounds good to me.”

* * *

  
  


Six months later, as they're cuddling in bed together and doing a Star Wars movie marathon while eating junk food, Felicity thinks that saying “maybe” to Ray Palmer was the best decision she's ever made.

  
  


He untangles himself from the blankets to get the next DVD and notices Felicity looking at him. “Do I have something on my face?”

  
  


She laughs softly, “No, I just... I really love you, Ray.”

  
  


He smiles back sweetly and leans in to kiss her. “I love you too, Felicity.”

  
  



	17. What's In A Name?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ray and Felicity discuss baby names

Felicity loves these moments. She's cuddled up next to Ray on the couch in his penthouse and they both have a hand on her stomach—she's not showing yet but it's only a matter of time. Today they're discussing baby names—middle names specifically. Felicity had announced three weeks ago that their baby was being named Charlie whether Ray liked it or not. Thankfully, Ray agreed it was a great name.

  
  


Per Jewish tradition, they had decided that baby Palmer would have at least one name in honor of a dead loved one. They chose the middle name. Felicity's first thought was Sara, but John and Lyla already named their adorable baby girl that. And besides, she and Ray had decided on a nice gender neutral name.

  
  


She's scanning a list of names in a baby book but none are jumping out at her. And that's when she realizes that Ray's been awfully quiet for the past few minutes. She tilts her head up to look at him. “You okay?”

  
  


He seems to be debating with himself about something but eventually he just comes out and says, “I'd like to give her a name in honor of my uncle Dave.”

  
  


Ray's uncle Dave had been the only supportive member of his family when Ray was a child and Felicity knows the two of them were close. Dave died of cancer shortly before the two of them had gotten together.

  
  


Felicity likes the idea but, “Well, Dave isn't exactly a gender neutral name, is it?” Neither is Charlie, she knows people would argue. But still, Dave is pushing it.

  
  


He laughs softly. “In my family, our take on the tradition is giving a baby a middle name that starts with the same initial as a dead loved one.” Ah, that makes a lot more sense.

  
  


She thinks it over for a minute. “Well... did you have a particular name in mind?”

  
  


He's quiet for several moments before he quietly says, “I like the name Devin.”

  
  


Felicity smiles. “Charlie Devin Palmer,” she says, testing the name out. “I like that.”

  
  


She looks down at her belly, where Ray's fingers are entwined with hers. She gives his hand a squeeze and says, “Do you like that name, Charlie?”

  
  


They feel a kick in response and she looks up at Ray, eyes wide. It's the first time they've felt their baby kick and Ray laughs. “Charlie Devin Palmer it is then,” he announces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a lot of Jewish families do the whole pick a name that starts with the same letter as a dead loved one but in my family in particular, we specifically do it for the middle name. So Ray's actually using my own family's Jewish naming tradition in this one!
> 
> This one gave me a lot of feelings.


End file.
